Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Small Things, Small Minds, Small Goods

Well for the sixth Harry Potter film in a row, one E Caldwell ruined it for everyone.

In a quiet part of the movie where the Hogwarts School Bike (Ginny (not short for Virgin) Weasley) was making her move on Harry. Leesy gets up and tells her trademarked Harry Potter joke, "I've seen Ron Weasley's magic wand, he's not a real redhead!"

Only 3 mothers left with their kids this time, when she first told that joke at the opening night of Harry Potter & The Philosophers Stone, she drove out 11 different families, which just goes to show how far societiy's standards have fallen.

In other news, I spent the Dromanarama bye productively working on my latest product. You'll be able to pick up Dromanarama Kabana from all supermarkets and deli's from September 1st.

My Killer Advertising Campaign; Look out for Megan Gale appearing on your tv's soon, it's a close-up of her, holding the Dromanarama Kabana and saying, "I want Bav's Meat". It's going to be awesome!

Monday, July 6, 2009

Dromanaramans - Transform and Roll Out!

Hello World and welcome to Dromanarama - The Mini Series. And if you are asking why I am starting this blog now instead of back when the mini series started, well that's just how I roll bitches.

Ok then, let's start with some introductions. The Dromanaramans can be broken down into 5 distinct categories, just like the British can be classified as English, Scotish, Welsh and People Who Bathe.

Category 1 - The Regulars:

Barnes, The - She has a house in Dromana

Bav - Dromanarama bowling record holder with 221

Beckham - Little known fact, when John Batman founded Melbourne, he said, "This is the place for a city", and then he walked a long way to the west and said, "This is Where I Pee" and Where I Pee is now known as Werribee and that's where Beckham lives.

Blocker - Was once asked in a job interview whether she had good oral communication skills, and she said, "Tug on my left ear for faster and my right ear for slower"

Dawky - His Mum says a lot of things.

John - Dromanarama Champion of Laser Tag, Dromanarama Wooden Spooner for telling the difference between Monday and Tuesday

Lee - She bakes so well that she was considered for the John C. Reilly role of Cal Naughton in Talladega Nights - The Legend Of Ricky Bobby. And because she doesn't watch movies, she'll never get that reference, and because she doesn't read the interweb, she'll never even know that I made that reference.

Leesy - An ash-tray that she made in Pottery class was found in the backyard of one of her old houses, and it's now kept in a museum as one of the best preserved artifacts of the Paleolithic Era

Nicole - Once she has kids she will be a Dromanarama-Mama

Category 2 - Need more All-Bran in order to become regular:

Shay - Likes to wear suits to Dromanarama events so he can pretend to be a pimp

Category 3 - Dromanaramans-In-Law:

Simon - Keeping the egg industry running all on his own

Tom - Keeps hoping that the next tummy-ache will finally be those growing pains that he's heard so much about

Category 4 - Dudes Yet To Show Up:

Jules - His curfew is 8 o'clock on a school night

Category 5 - On The Cusp:

Lisa - Generally prefers hanging out with older pensioner types at Buddy Holly tribute concerts.

Paulie - Just happy to not be sitting through Marley & Me again. The Dog Dies In The End <- That was a spoiler Dromanaramans meet the World. World, Dromanaramans. Ok with that long-winded introduction out of the way, let's review Dromanarama go see Transformers 2... It was John's week to organise the Dromanarama Weekly Annual Meeting and Zoot Review, and he chose a trip to Crown Casino to see Transformers: The Revenge Of The Fallen

Bav got into the spirit of things by wearing a kick-ass Bumblebee mask, that totally looked awesome and in no way made his but look big. No-one else did anything and as a result their butts looked so huge that the movie people made John buy 17 seats even though there were only 16 people. Dawky obviously thought we were going to see the latest Austin Powers movie, as he brought along his very own Mini Me, who looked almost identical but smaller than Dawky. Nic Wheeler - please insert a no-one is smaller than Dawky penis joke here...

Now in this movie, Isabel Lucas plays an extremely hot blonde Decipticon who looks completely human but apparently doesn't know when to get out of the tanning machine. Later in the movie, it is revealed that Optimus Prime is the last of the Prime's.

But I can now reveal that in Transformers 3, and this is a massive spoiler right here, not only will Optimus Prime discover that he's not the last of the Primes, but the other Prime will be;
1. A Girl
2. An Autobot disguised as a hot blonde with an unconvincing accent
3. And this is the amazing one - an actual Dromanaraman

Ladies & Gentleman, Bec Locker is Pastamy Prime

Wow, that was a long build-up for one joke. See you all next week...